


The second choice

by nervewreckeeer



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Confessions, Depression, M/M, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-22
Updated: 2016-05-22
Packaged: 2018-06-10 00:28:57
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,175
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6930631
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nervewreckeeer/pseuds/nervewreckeeer
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What about you - the rest of you - did you notice the scars you left behind?</p>
<p>No. Probably not.</p>
<p>Because most of them can't be seen with the naked eye.</p>
<p>                                                                                                                                                              -Hannah Baker from Thirteen Reason why</p>
            </blockquote>





	The second choice

* * *

* * *

_If you’re hearing this – I might be dead right now, or maybe out of the country. I don’t know. If you ever receive these tape – it only means one thing. I want you to find out how my life got destroyed. How all of you, destroyed my mentality. Don’t worry, I gave everyone, that’s on my list, each copy of these tapes._

_I want you to know how it all started._

_I want you to know how you made someone miserable in just a blink of an eye._

_And hopefully, you guys will wake up in reality…_

 

I was new to that city. I was fifteen that time and my parents decided to move places. We’ve moving houses for a quite a while now. My parents have been busy with their work and they’ve been required to be in various places to work there. I know what their professions are – but when I get older, I won’t be like them.

I hated to be moving from one place to another.

It sickens me to introduce myself to the new people.

When I was five – I was too excited to have new playmates, since we’re moving. But as I got older – the more I started to hate travelling. And moving houses.

But this time around – my parents _, ~~told~~_ ~~,~~ promised me, that we will never move houses anymore. That we’re going to stay in this place – for good.

 

They enrolled me in a public school – as I requested. Even if they insisted that I should be in private one.

 

I really _**hate**_  uniforms.

 

It was a hot day when my first day in that school started. I was wearing a simple navy blue shirt, a pair of denim jeans, old pair of converse and a white hat that my friend, Ryeowook, gave me as his ‘farewell’ gift. I was just pacing slowly, looking around in the area.

I noticed that there are some students, would look at me – making a several of whispers on my way to the building.

They must love to make gossips.

I always knew from the very beginning, which – people in general, love gossips.

When I was in Busan, where I met Ryeowook – kids on that school, would make gossips about me.

Well – not just about me to be specific.

Everyone makes a gossip about the people they see.

And I was one of their victims.

 

My parents never cared about what’s happening to me when I was in that school – since they would leave me alone there because they’ve been busy working.

 

I quite thanked God that He made my parent’s bosses to move places one last time. Because I’m sick of those people.

 

But I guess, I can’t help to stop the gossiping part though.

 

I was in front of the principal’s office – I was about to knock, when I heard the principal scolding a student.

I hesitated to knock, because I might interrupt – but someone tapped my shoulder, making me to look at that person that time.

“Are you Kim Minseok?”

“Uhm… yes.”

“Great! I’m Kwon Hara. I’m the principal’s assistant. We’ve been waiting for you.” she said. She knocked the door twice and opened the door.

 

And there, I saw you.

 

The first one that made this snowball effect.

 

It started with you, Xiao Luhan.

 

Your head was hung low. You were getting scold by the principal for having bad grades. Only to find out later on – that the principal was your beloved father.

You scratched your head when your father told you that ‘you’re grounded.’

Ms. Kwon cleared her throat – making the two of them faced us.

The principal fixed his tie and cleared his throat and formed a smile – a genuine one.

“You must be Kim Minseok?” he offered his hand and I shook it politely.

“I’m so sorry for what you’ve heard. By the way, this is my son, Xiao Luhan.”

And you looked at me and bowed.

And I did the same.

 

The principal asked you to leave – and he talked to me about my schedule and when will be the orientation for the new and transferee students. I kept those in my mind and leave his office.

 

And you were there, waiting for me.

 

“I’m so sorry you saw that.” you started.

“The scolding?”

And you chuckled. “Yeah. It was embarrassing.” And I just smiled.

“Minseok, right?”

“Yep. The one and only.”

And we both chuckled. Then offered to give me a tour around the campus before the bell rings. And I agree.

 

That day, you made me fall in love with you. And I hated you for that, Luhan.

 

From days, turned in to weeks, then months – you’re the only person that made me laugh, and smile.

You made me fall in love with you.

I gave you my first kiss right after gym class. I didn’t know what I was doing that time – but instead of you, pushing me away, you gave in and kissed me back.

 

And you made us official the day after that.

 

The whole campus knows about us on those times. It was funny, because some of your ‘fans’ are leaving me threats at my locker room. They would insult me and calling me ‘faggot’ and a ‘slut’.

I almost made friends on those months, I got close with Kim Jongdae, Do Kyungsoo and Byun Baekhyun.

These three are like milk, coffee and sugar in one group.

But I’ll talk about them later. Let me tell everyone what you’ve done to me Luhan. To clear all the rumors.

 

**_The rumors that I cheated you over Yixing._ **

 

As we all know – Luhan and I dated for a year. And I thought, we were ok back then.

But, I guess that was my imagination. Because those gossips that I’ve been hearing about you and Sehun back then were true.

But why deny them to me when I asked you?

You told me a hundred times that you and Sehun were just ‘ **best friends’**.

You can just told me that you and Sehun had an affair before we did. That you don’t want everyone to know – that you and Sehun are together ever since.

Did you just chose me to cover up the rumors that were spreading around you?

Am I that to you?

Just a fucking cover up?

**_Hah._ **

When I saw you with Sehun, making out at the janitor’s closet – my world started to crumple.

Did you know how much I loved you, Luhan?

You were so nice to me back then, you’re the first person to talk to me when I got that school, you’re my first kiss, you’re the only person that I thought – would be my last.

But maybe, you were not the right one for me.

 

When I caught you again with him – the look that you gave me was priceless. My tears was falling out of my eyes. I saw you – you cheated on me Luhan. I didn’t cheated on you.

 

Then, your Sehun, started to spread the rumors after that day.

 

That fake rumor started to spread like a wild fire – and everyone is looking at me like I’ve done the nastiest thing on earth

Yixing was so innocent that day, he was new to that school too – so why destroy someone’s life because of this stupid cover up?

I hated you that day – because you never stopped the rumors. You broke up with me when the rumor started to spread. And you made a scene at the cafeteria.

You wanted my image to look bad.

Did I made you upset because I caught you guys?

Is that it?

That’s why you did that thing to me and to Yixing?

Wow.

Just wow, Luhan.

I thought that this school is different from the one I had in Busan.

But I guess, wherever I go. Wherever I stay.

There will be rumors.

Tons of them.

 

 

After that rumor, another one came and another- then another.

It’s like a continue cycle of rumors.

And all of them are killing me

“Minseok had slept with the captain of the basketball captain Kris Wu.”

“Minseok is dating one of the teachers here in the school. Someone saw them at the bookstore.”

“Minseok this” – “Minseok that…”

 

But do you think all of them are true?

 

Now let’s go to you, Byun Baekhyun.

You are one of my few friends in that school. You were the clown on our group. You were also the war freak.

You defended me from all of those nasty girls that tries to make a nasty move on me.

I thanked you for that. Really.

 

But, you made something – that made our friendship to end.

You framed me that I own those drugs that was truly yours and your boyfriend, Chanyeol.

 

You were so scared that the teacher would learn that you and Chanyeol have been bring drugs inside the school. Selling them to those jocks. Because you needed money.

I would understand that you needed money – but do you have to frame me that I own them?

Did you know what you just did to me, huh, Byun Baekhyun and Park Chanyeol? Hah?

You made to stay at the rehabilitation center for having those drugs. You made my parents hate me for having them.

Did you know how much hate I just receive from the mouth of my father?

Do you know how hurtful his words were?

Probably not.

But guess what – you just me realize one thing: That my parents never loved me.

Because of what happened – I just learned the truth: that I was adopted. My parents can’t have a child on their own, and they decided to adopt me instead. My father – doesn’t like the idea of having a kid – no wonder why his actions were like that since I was a kid until I was eighteen – the year that you got me framed.

 

So really Baekhyun and Chanyeol.

 

Thank you. But I will never forgive you – for what you’ve done to me.

 

And this next person that I’m going to talk about – is about you Jongdae.

The only person that I’m very intrigue to know.

You are the only person that looked at me in the eyes, like you wanted to see my soul.

You wanted to know me more – but I’ve been pushing you away.

Because I’m so scared to fall again.

 

I’m sending you these tapes, because I wanted you to know my story. On how, my life went through these years in high school.

 

I also wanted to confess my love for you here. Jongdae. I know this maybe too late for me to say – but at least, I said it.

At first, I just wanted to be your friend. You were funny, like Baekhyun and Kyungsoo.

You would treat me chocolate ice cream whenever I’m down because of what Luhan and I argue before I knew his dirty little secret.

You were there when I needed someone to rant about family.

You were there to join me to lunch when Kyungsoo and Baekhyun are with their boyfriends.

You were always there for me.

And every single day, I’m starting to fall in love with you.

But I’m too scared to say it to you.

Because you might leave me.

 

If ever I’m not dead yet – if ever we met again…

 

_Can I ask you out?_

 

* * *

 

Jongdae stops the third tape. He was crying the entire time – starting from the beginning of the tape. His heart is pacing fast, he can’t breathe.

He hated himself for not stopping Minseok for committing suicide at their school building. Minseok jumped at the school’s top building. Jongdae was there – but he was too late to save him.

But, there’s still a little hope.

Jongdae is at the hospital, at Minseok’s ICU room. Looking at Minseok’s body and the monitors and tubes that are around at him.

 

Jongdae wanted to punch Luhan, Baekhyun, Chanyeol and for the rest of the people that made Minseok’s life miserable. He hated to see Minseok to get hurt.

 

Because Jongdae is truly in love with Minseok. But he is too scared to admit it.

 

Because of all those rumors… But after hearing these tapes, now everything made sense now. And all he could do right now is to be at Minseok’s side. Waiting for him to wake up from his deep sleep.

 

Jongdae caressed Minseok’s hair softly as he tries to utter a word.

“Minseok…” he started, “I’ve always loved you. I’m sorry for not standing up for you whenever you needed someone – whenever there are rumors. I’m sorry for believing in them without knowing your side. I’m sorry for not getting the signs that you’ve been showing for the past month. Please, Minseok. I’m here…” he sniffs, “I’m always be here for you. I love you, Minseok. I really do.” then he started to cry again.

 

“I love you, Minseok. Please, don’t give up.” Jongdae can’t help it. He cried again.

 

Then, after a few minutes – there’s just silence.

 

Then, Minseok’s finger twitched.  

* * *

* * *

 

**Author's Note:**

> first time in AO3. 
> 
> although I came here for Stony fics and not to write something... LOL.  
> I just wanna try how to use this site. :) This maybe the first and last post. I'd rather be a reader here than be a writer. :)) 
> 
> If you find this story familiar - this is also posted in AFF. 
> 
> hope you guys will like this. :)


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